Mental Illnesses Affect Spouses, Family & Friends

Did you know an estimated 22.1 percent of Americans ages 18 and older – about one in five adults – suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder?

Depressive disorder affects approximately 18.8 million American adults, or 9.5 per cent; major depression, 9.9 million adults, and bipolar disorder (manic-depression) about 2.3 million adults.

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For a decade, I literally “lived” in and out of hospitals. My husband of 27 years stood by me through these turbulent years. Years of endless hospitalizations, electro-convulsive therapy (shock treatments), suicide attempts and a myriad of medications became a way of life.

My immediate family were always there for me also, always a gentle hand and listening ear.

Friends? They were supportive at first and came in droves to the hospital for visits. But as the years lingered on, they started to dwindle. If this had been cancer or heart disease, would they have been by my side?

I believe it is the stigma attached to mental illness that drives people away.

Are mentally ill people dangerous? No! A family member totally cut ties with my husband and I during the early years of my major depression and hospitalizations, as he thought I was dangerous and feared for his children. At Christmastime, only my husband’s name appears on the Christmas card – my name is excluded.

One family member visited me in hospital and stated I had a “bad case of the nerves”. I hardly had bad nerves – depression was holding on to me.

My husband was very lonely and frustrated during my hospitalizations, as I seemed more ill with each admission. On occasion he said I looked like a person heading towards death. I lacked motivation and my facial expression was tired and drawn.

In a strange way, while I was in hospital, I wished to break free and be home, but when I was home I wanted to go back to hospital. I think they call this conditioning.

What frightened my husband the most during those endless years were the suicide attempts. He felt powerless and angry that the system was letting me down and I was becoming worse. While on passes from the hospital, he never knew what he’d find when returning home from work.

Finally, at a dead end with my psychiatrist of six years, a wonderful psychiatrist who was an authority on bipolar illness rescued me. The secret though is you MUST stay on your medication and avoid alcohol or drug use to stay healthy. Life is so different now – a complete 360º turn. There IS life with mental illness, however, the stigma still remains.

Written by:
Me

SUICIDE: THE TABOO WORD

Suicide: definition…is an act of willfully ending one’s life

Males die much more often than females by suicide, while females attempt suicide more often
U.S. Caucasians commit suicide more often than African Americans do
People commit suicide more often during spring and summer

Suicidal ideation produces the perilous side of mental illness, acting as both a friend and seducer. Even though thoughts of dying encapsulate our mind on one hand, we yearn to remain living on the other. We desire just to feel better.

Depression, best known of all the mental illnesses, is difficult to endure and treat. It renders one feeling hopeless and helpless. Experiencing a sort of wintry solitude, completely immobilized with any light of optimism dimming. It creates emotional and financial fallout, coupled with a horrible emptiness and black death-like existence. Life tastes sour.

Journal entries:

Wednesday 7:30 am

I am seated in my corner by the window again. I like it here, even though it is a hospital room, it allows me to believe in the plan. Should I proceed with the plan today? I’m sort of frightened, yet energized at the same time. Each day that I plan, gets me through the darkness. This hole of depression is certainly swallowing me up and I’m drowning. Effortless tasks take major energy. Heaviness and hollow sadness are with me daily.

I feel geared up. Today is the day. I am positive that this is the answer, why question, why live one more day in this black subsistence. What did I do that was so wrong to deserve this?

Wednesday 11:00 am

My pass is approved. One bus ticket home. One to make it back? Who cares, I’m not returning to the hospital. The bus ride home is excruciating. Crowded. Countless stops. I am irritated. Finally - home.

Casey greeted me at the door, his tail wagging. I’ve missed him since my admission last month.
I plopped down on the couch, left the coat on and just stared. Stared and stared for what seemed like hours.

It’s time.

Wednesday 2:30 pm

The stash was still in the closet. A whole bunch of pills & colors, mostly white. They are large, small, round, oval - all still in their bottles. I chose the white ones. Seems as if they will be the most effective. With a huge glass of water, I ingested a handful. Difficult to swallow, but they went down.

I returned to the couch and sat and waited for death to come. I feel like I accomplished something today. I’m proud. I am in somewhat of a dreamlike state now, breaking free from the demons of depression, free of the shackles around my ankles. All of a sudden I feel panicky. Perspiring. What have I done, I am not supposed to experience this. This isn’t in the plan, which was so well thought out. Oh my god, what do I do now. I do not feel sleepy, however, a bit nauseous and my brain muddled. Who should I call? Minutes pass and I am pacing the living room. Ok, 911.

The ambulance arrives. Here I lay on a stretcher. I am berating myself. You are such a loser, can’t even get this right, why did you have to call, back to square one again, you had the chance, you blew it, another disappointment, a huge loser. You planned this for weeks, how everything would be so easy, you are such a cop out, you deserve to be sick. Audrey went through with her plan, you admired her so much for being so brave, you said you wanted to be with her; well you are stuck now among the living. Loser.

Wednesday 6:00 pm

So, the plan was a failure. Ingested a huge quantity of charcoal, which felt like black paint going down. Terrible stuff, spreads between your teeth. They said this is to prevent the meds from doing damage. Most people vomit, but not I. And here I sit once again, in my corner, in the hospital, in my depressive darkness. Imagine blaming oneself for having an illness. Imagine having to apologize for having an illness. That is the cruelty of depression.

Fortunately, there are effectual prescription medications on the market to treat depression. It is imperative to stay on your medication to remain well. A knowledgeable, attentive psychiatrist is also key in recovery.

Written by:
Me

What Exactly Is A 'NERVOUS BREAKDOWN?"

What is a nervous breakdown? What causes people to have them?

Mayo Clinic psychiatrist Daniel Hall-Flavin, M.D., and colleagues answer the question.

Answer: The term "nervous breakdown" is used by the public to characterize a wide range of mental illnesses. Nervous breakdown is not a medical term and doesn't indicate a specific mental illness. Generally, the term describes a person who is severely and persistently emotionally distraught and unable to function at his or her normal level.

Often, when people refer to having a nervous breakdown, they're describing severe depression.

Signs and symptoms of severe depression include:
~~Agitation or restlessness
~~Difficulty or inability to stop crying
~~Sleeping difficulties
~~Dramatic appetite changes
~~Indecision

The causes of mental illness usually aren't clear. But these factors may play a role:
~~Stress
~~Drug and alcohol use
~~Coexisting medical conditions, such as thyroid disorders and certain vitamin deficiencies
~~Genetics

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/nervous-breakdown/AN00476

STIGMA - And Mental Illness

What is stigma?

When someone appears to be different than us, we may view him or her in a negative stereotyped manner. People who have identities that society values negatively are said to be stigmatized. Stigma is a reality for people with a mental illness, and they report that how others judge them is one of their greatest barriers to a complete and satisfying life. Society feels uncomfortable about mental illness. It is not seen like other illnesses such as heart disease and cancer. Due to inaccuracies and misunderstandings, people have been led to believe that an individual with a mental illness has a weak character or is inevitably dangerous. Mental illness can be called the invisible illness. Often, the only way to know whether someone has been diagnosed with a mental illness is if they tell you. The majority of the public is unaware of how many mentally ill people they know and encounter every day. One in five people will experience a mental illness at some point in his or her lifetime and mental illness affects people of all ages, in all kinds of jobs and at all educational levels.

Why does stigma surround mental illness?
We all have an idea of what someone with a mental illness is like, but most of our views and interpretations have been distorted through strongly held social beliefs. The media, as a reflection of society, has done much to sustain a distorted view of mental illness. Television or movie characters who are aggressive, dangerous and unpredictable can have their behavior attributed to a mental illness. Mental illness also has not received the sensitive media coverage that other illnesses have been given. We are surrounded by stereotypes, popular movies talk about killers who are "psychos" and news coverage of mental illness only when it related to violence. We also often hear the causal use of terms like "lunatic" or "crazy," along with jokes about the mentally ill. These representations and the use of discriminatory language distort the public’s view and reinforce inaccuracies about mental illness.

What are the effects of stigma?
If you became physically ill, you would go to a doctor. Once you got better you would expect to get on with life as usual. Life, however, does not always fit back into place for people diagnosed with a mental illness. Everyone has the right to fully participate in his or her community, but individuals struggling to overcome a mental illness can find themselves facing a constant series of rejections and exclusions.

Due to stigma, the typical reaction encountered by someone with a mental illness (and his or her family members) is fear and rejection. Some have been denied adequate housing, loans, health insurance and jobs due to their history of mental illness. Due to the stigma associated with the illness, many people have found that they lose their self-esteem and have difficulty making friends. The stigma attached to mental illness is so pervasive that people who suspect that they might be mentally ill are unwilling to seek help for fear of what others may think. Spouses may be reluctant to define their partners as mentally ill, while families may delay seeking help for their child because of their fears and shame.

How do we erase stigma?
We can battle stigma when we have facts. We all have times when we feel depressed, get unreasonably angry or over-excited. We even have periods when we think that everything and everybody is out to get us and that we can’t cope. For someone with a mental illness these feelings become enveloping and overwhelming. There is no particular way to develop a mental illness. For some people, it occurs due to genetic factors in their family. Other causes may relate to environment stressors such as experiences or severe child abuse, war, torture, poverty, loss, isolation, neglect or abandonment. Mental illnesses can also occur in combination with substance abuse.

Any questions can be directed to your Mental Health Association.

Information source for this article: http://mentalhealthworks.ca/ Mental Health Works.